Affair Counselling

Our relationship is floundering. Couple counselling is called for

The betrayed partner

My partner has cheated on me and I’m deeply unhappy. I can’t believe that our promises and our life together is of so little value that this has happened. Finding out about this affair is so hurtful to our relationship. I’m shocked, confused and angry. I don’t know what to do. I want to hit back, or know all the sordid details, or I want to run away and hide, sometimes all at once. I feel so raw, and a fool.

What does the future hold for me now? We need relationship counselling to sort this out, because with all the crying and shouting, we can’t do it by ourselves.

Or perhaps the affair was a long time ago.  Maybe there have been a series of liaisons over the years. I just can’t trust my partner. The hurt and bitterness stays with me. Yet something makes this the right time to sort out the damage done with marriage counsellors.

Perhaps the affair partner is still in our lives. It’s really hard to bear. Please help.

From the betrayer’s point of view:

I did it, and I bitterly regret it. Perhaps I have no idea about why. 

Or I do know exactly why, and in some ways I don't regret what I've done, although I am sorry for the pain caused. Yet I do want my relationship to survive.... (I think). 

Or, OK so I did it but it’s in the past now. I’ve said I’m sorry. Why can’t it be left at that?  Maybe I know why I did it, or perhaps I don’t, but I do want to stay in this relationship. Or at least I did - I know the future has to be different, but we’re just going round in painful circles, and I’m beginning to wonder if this is really what I want. Only robust relationship coaching will get us through this one.

Or, I chose to explore my sexuality through an affair(s). Now I’m in a mess, and feeling so guilty for what I have done. Both of us need help to save our relationship and get back on an even keel.

Or... what has made it all so much more harrowing is that I chose a same sex partner while in a heterosexual marriage (or any other trans-gender betrayal). Disclosure, deliberate or not, has created a nightmare that is really tough and painful for us all. 

Perhaps both of you have stepped over the line:

We originally allowed each other liaisons outside our relationship but now things are going sour. We need to sort out just what is OK and what is not.

Or did one of us going astray lead to the other also wandering? A tit for tat? And now things are so much worse?

Or ..... we have been estranged and led separate lives for a while (we even divorced) and now are back together again. But strong emotions from the past are getting in the way. We need help from external relationship counsellors.


How Duo Coaching can help

There are many ways that people in committed relationships can betray each other. We work with them all, giving you support when you want it. A client said of Duo Coaching’s marriage coaching:

“The journey is still tough but it is so much easier when there is a safe place to talk, to share and not shout or be shouted at.”

Take a look at what others say as well. 

From us at Duo Coaching, you don’t only get a lifeboat – you get a pair of oars, a compass and a chart too, for wherever your voyage finally takes you . 

You may both end up in the same lifeboat, or not. 

If you haven't yet decided if you are going to stay together, then pick our Crisis package. We can work with you individually as well as together to find out what you truly want to do. There is no set pattern for how many sessions, although most take 6-8 to make a decision.  We then normally follow-up with a few sessions every 3, 6 or 12 months to ensure there's been no backsliding into bad habits while giving you opportunities to deal with anything new.

Read more about the Crisis Package

 

If you already know you are staying together, choose our Better Relationship Package, where we help you both to build a new relationship while helping you deal with the negative feelings generated out of the past. Be aware that the re-building of trust will take time, yet can be done.  

If your decision is to part, then we will help you do this by helping you get to a safe place from which you can both move to new lives apart. We can give guidance about other professional help that might be useful to you as you unravel your lives.

Read more about the Better Relationship Packages

 

If you are fairly certain you are going to part, but haven't got to making that final decision and you need to, we can help with our Single Issue Package. Come to us for just one, maybe two sessions, to work it out in safety. If you need mediation to work out who does what and who takes what when you finally split, we can help with that too.

Check out the Single Issue Package

 


 

If you have a problem, call us on 023 816 0008 or email us for relationship counselling in Brockenhurst, Hampshire.  We can help.

If you are too far away to get to normal sessions in Hampshire, look at our Intensive Programmes.

We are quick to respond and discreet - always.