An ex is threatening to capsize us

We need marriage counselling help to stabilise our relationship

Partner without the Ex

We haven’t been living together (married) for long. Our relationship had been going really well and I was very much in love with my partner but I have now discovered that I am living with two people; not one. We need help from expert relationship counsellors.

Their Ex is still around and causing a lot of stress and anxiety. I don’t feel that my partner has fully moved on from the last relationship and they really need to decide who they want to be with; is it me or their Ex? Every time I raise the subject we end up arguing and nothing changes. 

Or is it that their Ex is causing trouble, and its being made worse through their manipulation of the children, which means we just can't settle down into being a family. It's wearing me and our love down.

Partner with the Ex

I feel I still have obligations to my Ex which have their depths in the old relationship, and I can't let them go. Such obligations may be factual - money, children, a shared business, property, or they may be emotional - guilt at moving on, a certain tenderness for our past lives together, sympathy. Yet I love my new partner. I'm torn, and I don't know what I can do. 

Perhaps the problem is that my Ex is jealous of my new happiness, and is doing everything possible to wreck my new relationship. And then that makes me angry, which isn't helping the situation. 

Or my Ex may be ill or in trouble and have no-one to care for them. I just can't let them down. 

Or I a widow(er) and am still grieving for my previous wife. I can't share these feelings with my new partner. So I try to keep them secret, which is tearing me apart, as well as doing harm to our relationship.

Alternatively there may be other reasons or feelings I can't talk about to my new partner.

I'm stuck, so we are stuck. Couple counselling is my only hope.

How Duo Coaching helps

Through our special mix of relationship counselling and coaching we will work with both of you to create a relationship that is based on firm foundations and shared dreams and values. We will explore with you, individually, your past and the way in which relationships with your Ex partner(s) are still affecting your lives. We will teach you strategies to manage conflict and to create the space to enjoy each other’s company. 

Go and look at our Better Relationship Packages

Look at the The Better Relationship Packages




If you have a problem, call us on 023 816 0008 or email us for relationship counselling in Brockenhurst, Hampshire.  We can help.

If you are too far away to get to normal sessions in Hampshire, look at our Intensive Programmes.

We are quick to respond and discreet - always.